from the Good Men Project

We cannot be so naive to think that the way in which we lived our lives would not slow down some.  Or I can simply share my favorite quote when it comes to Care, from Rosalyn Carter. 

“There are four kinds of people in the world:Those who have been caregivers, those who currently are caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”

Those who have been caregivers. All of us who have ever done any type of caregiving we look upon those who haven’t with a sign of “yep, we get it, it’s a boring topic that you don’t believe can happen to you.” However, when we look at each other and find out we have a shared journey, there’s a silent respect and understanding that though our story may have showed up differently, we’ve walked the same path. That we made it to the other side is what’s important.

Those who are currently caregivers. Okay, they’re in the trenches right now, too busy and too tired to even think about what you may or may not believe it can be like. Each time I meet or hear about someone actively caring for anyone, I don’t have to hear another thing, all I do is look at their eyes, I recognize the look so well.

Those who will be caregivers. It’s the “will be” from both sides that is the wild card. You think you won’t be a caregiver and your loved one wants to believe you won’t become one, so no one talks about it. And yet the rest of us believe – and statistics prove – there’s a good chance you “will be.” I see it all the time. When the day finally happens, everyone looks around as if the word ‘Care’ has never been uttered. Maybe it hasn’t…perhaps it should have.

Those who will need caregivers. No one wakes up one day saying to themselves “I think I’ll take the position of person in need of care” as a life goal. No one decides to be born into it either, yet they are. Aging occurs, accidents happen, life happens and it isn’t always pretty. We cannot be so naive as to think that our lives would not slow down some to the point of needing someone down the line for something.

A topic that you believe will never come your way is a recipe for disaster, we all know this. We also get to the age where we know we can’t actually plan for everything in life. What I would like you to consider is that discussing a topic, asking questions and then asking more is one thing you can do regardless where you fall in the four caregiving rolls. .

Trust me, at some point in your life you will care about some of those or all of them.